When Getting There is Better Than Being There.

They say that the journey, not the destination, is the point of life. Doubtless that's true. But when you're in a new city, with no direction home, as once was sung, you can find yourself either going in circles or winding up in a place that doesn't resemble any recognized areas you've seen ... or wanted to see. When your new home is in Oakland, California, the odds are great that you'll drive through a rather shady neighborhood as easily as you may drive through a lovely one. The odds are also great that you'll get lost. And, in general, that is no fun.

When I bought my Prius two years ago, times were flush. I'd just earned a nice fat six-figure salary for '06, and when the Toyota sales guy at Miller Toyota in Culver City asked me if I wanted a car with a built-in Navigation system, I thought, hey - why not. Even though I'd lived in Los Angeles for the better part of twenty-odd years, and knew my way around it backwards, forwards and upside down, I went ahead and booked it. But I never ONCE used it in all the time I lived there. I also never anticipated leaving L.A. I never anticipated a lot of things.

Three years later, I'm a stranger in a strange land and I'm using the nav system practically every day - several times, most days. It's so easy: I just mark my starting point (the car already knows where that is, so I don't have to input anything besides "Mark"), then punch in my destination, and last, hit "GUIDE." Immediately, this very serene female voice comes through the speakers murmuring sweet nothings like, "The route guidance will start now." All you have to do after that is sit back and drive the car. "Next left, and then, right turn," she'll say, or, "Your destination is on the right," and finally, "You have arrived at your destination. The route guidance is now finished."

She's my new best friend. And I've decided to name her Jean, for one of my parapatetic friends. Jean travels frequently to Paris, where she lived until only recently, and she does so with major aplomb. It's friends like her who've bannished my small beliefs that L.A. was the end of the line. Friends like Cheryl (who up and moved to New Zealand two years ago),  Brad, (who went down under last year), and my cousin Sarah (who's moved from Zimbabwe, to Paris, to Singapore, to Philadelphia). Each in their way have laid the groundwork and inspired me to pick up and move after living in L.A. since nineteen-fucking-ever. Knowing they've done it helps me disregard the little voices in my head that shout things like, "What are you THINKING? You don't know ANYBODY in Oakland!" and "You're too old to uproot your life like this!" and "You'll be sorry!" - and on and on.

I know, I know. What's the big deal? It was only a little move - from L.A. to Oakland. Still in the same state, right? But they are as different as night and day. And this move has affected me profoundly; I had no idea how stuck I'd been in L.A.  For years, I'd been bored out of my mind, and this boredom had masqueraded as "This is just how life is once you get to a certain age." When the fact is, life should never be characterized by mediocrity. At least, not for me. That's not to say I dig drama. I don't. What I'm talking about is excitement. Wanting to bring something to the party. And then wanting to go to the next one. It's like Auntie Mame said: "Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death."

Having literally no one here that I know (save my daughter in S.F.) made the move daunting. But also an adventure.  Most importantly, it's shown me that should I wish to, a move to Tangiers, or Sweden, or Brazil would only involve a decision - and maybe even a snap decision. That and some money. But that's a minor detail...

Because the fact is, you can get there from here. No matter how challenging, the world is there for the taking. And these days, you don't even have to be an expert navigator. Now, we've got the technology. And in my car, its name is Jean.

Comments

[Jean]

It is quite an honor, my dear, to be so remembered and to be there in spirit as you discover your new hometown.

"In spirit" is key here, as my City of Oakland geography is really and truly weak. You are in safer hands with RG® (Route Guidance) Jean than Actual Jean.

Bon courage, ma belle!

[starrlife]

Wow- what courage! And great writing... I'm forgetting where we met but glad you came by my place and looked in the windows, lol. You are a city mouse and I am a country mouse but we'll figure it out. Jean (both of them!) sound like great friends to have. I'll be back...